International Women's Day, March 8th
Our project's next goal is going to be a public reading on the 8th of March to pay tribute to women.Wow, another exhausted worn topic, you might say. Well, and which one is not. All these set dates are mere excuses to let us read and write, which is our real goal. Besides, even though any topic might sound like a cliché, there are always a thousand different ways to approach it.Given the fact that I am a woman, that I love being one and that fortunately this reality has never caused me any problems, I'm going to reflect upon women from a positive loving perspective rather than one of trouble or adversity. Enough has been said about discrimination and abuse. It's high time we portrayed ourselves without pity or without trying to be equal to men. Guess what, we are not, and I personally don't want to be. Nothing against men, but today I'm not going to talk about them. It's not their turn.
Our school has another project going on, Constructing a European Female Identity, which has so far had many different activities. One that has caught my eye was the construction of a "family tree" of the women in your life. I didn't strictly do it back then, but seeing the ones at school made me make my own one mentally.
I am going to start talking about my grandmother Elisa. I grew up living with her and even though I understand how hard it must have been for my mom to have three generations living under the same roof, I wouldn't change that experience for any other living situation. She was a rather simple woman as regards formal education, although she liked to read and spent her old age doing crossword puzzles to keep her brain active. What I really liked about her was her lively mood and her constant smile. She was the only survivor of five siblings, three of whom died young due to TB. Her health was not the best either, but you would never hear her complain. She was always ready for a joke or a game of cards, not to mention a great traditional Asturian (not that she would have refused one of any other origin) dessert.
What I am very grateful to her for is that she always supported me and never, ever in her life got angry with me. Today, whenever I think about her, a big smile appears on my face, usually accompanied by a couple of tears. I miss her.
I don't want to leave my other grandmother out. Florentina was not such a big influence on me, mostly because we didn't live together. She never got angry with me either and was always eager to listen to my stories. What I remember the most about her was how she loved to look good and was fond of fashion until her very last days. Another thing that shows how vain she was is that she would never say her age, to such an extent that we were not very sure of how old she really was.
Why don't you tell us something about your grandmothers? I would love to read your stories.
COMING SOON: My mom
I have no memories of my grandmothers because they died when I was a child, but I would like to pay homage to my mother-in-law. Although she’s still alive, because of her illness, most of the times she doesn’t even know who I am. That is why I’m going to talk about her in the past.
ReplyDeleteShe didn’t go to university because at that time women didn’t use to, but she was an active reader, from which she acquired a huge knowledge, especially about history. Besides her inquisitiveness, she had a great intelligence so her advice were always wise.
The more valuable thing for me was that she loved me like a daughter and I can assert that, despite living close for more than twenty years, we never had an argument. The trick was the respect. Even though our ideas were almost opposite, we both respected each other and kept our own independence.
I would like to finish remembering a sentence she said very often: “Why mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are always arguing? I think is a matter of good manners"!. She might be right, buy I strongly believe that our good relationship was more a question of love and respect than of manners!
I bet you're right, respecting others is such an important thing to be able to get along. I also get on very well with my mother-in-law. I'm planning on dedicating a little post to my female in-laws soon.
ReplyDeleteNext 27th february will be the 1st aniversay of my loving grandmother Carmen's death.
ReplyDeleteShe was much more than special to me. I turned to believe we were a sort of soul mates. We could know what the other one was thinking just by seen on each others eyes, specially the last few years when she scarcely could speak. It was magic! I miss her so much but I can always feel her strenght encouraging me to go on.
I read the next few lines I will share with you on my granny's funerarl as a homage to her as well as a way of confort all the family with her memory. This is really personal but I believe the forum deserves it. Thank you. Ruth.
Dear family and friends,
I would like to share with you a few words in memory of Grandmother Carmen
which I am sure are we have all in mind right now.
I am one of those who believe it is better to express what we truly feel inside,
since the things we do not say are as if they would not exist. Of course there is
a big difference between theory and what we actually do.
We have in the figure of Grandma Carmen a tenacious woman like no one else,
who made her life not just a “said” but a pure “done”, determined, sincere,
honest. A woman who always placed truth, loyalty and honour before any
gossip. A woman who always flied the flag of family and the one who, somehow, guided us
in our walk until where we are right now.
We neither can, nor want to, or should forget of her subtle influence on us.
Each one of us, to our own extent have her in mind, on her teaching, on a
saying, on a recipe, on a song, on the taste of a lovely steak with garlic and
parsley, on her scent of freshness…
She is symbol and example of a way of living, ahead of her times in many
sides. A woman with an open mind and eager to learn, not only to herself but
also to teach anyone who might come close to her willing to learn.
Daughter, granddaughter, wife, mother, great grandmother, mother-in-law
but first of all woman, and what a woman! A real woman, a woman of heart,
genuine, upright, human, calm, sensitive.
We are all very lucky to have the opportunity to transmit to our loved ones the
goodness Grandma Carmen let us as her valuable legacy. She is and will always
be our bond, our “commonplace”, our reference not to get lost in our way, the
strength to fight for our ideals, the honesty as the most valuable rule to face
life.
Grandma, thank you for all the joyful times we lived next to you, also for the
sad times, too many perhaps...
Thank you for being as you have been, the pride of the family and your own’s.
Thank you for so many things you offered us in life and for all you taught us
with your example.
I know, we all know, you never wanted to be told this too often but I also
know, we know, you will allow us to say so:
YOU ARE THE BEST, AND WE LOVE YOU… “ONE KILOMETRE”!!!
DeleteI also want you to know I really appreciate your generosity for your lesson in love.
Thank you.
I guess you're an English student, if so I must congratulate you. Your writing is
terrific!!!!. It will help me not flag.
I am about to finishing a short story related to my mother-in-law but is taking me
longer than I'd expected. Is great to know that many people have two mums.
Thank you Ruth for sharing something so personal and precious with us. I couldn't agree more with you when you say that we don't say enough what we truly feel. Sometimes I feel like people are always ready to complain and to criticise others, but boy is it hard for them to express with words how wonderful someone is. Your grandma was lucky to have you as her granddaughter.
DeleteThank's Ruth for sharing with us these intimate and beaufitul lines. I whish we all could be remembered as your grandma is!
ReplyDeleteThanks to every women have made possible that our lives have improved and our rights have been recognized by the society. Also, every mother has educated us in order to have freedom of speech and liberty of action.
ReplyDeleteThanks mum for being as you are. Thanks for show me how not be less than anybody and anything.
Ruth, your words almost made me cry, my grandmother Lola also passed away recently. My story is about how the distance doesn't matter when you have built an intense and special relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little kid, I used to live abroad, my parents move to Caracas before I was born, for that reason, I meet my grandparents when I was 2 years old and I would never forgot that moment.
Every summer, my sister an I used to came to Galicia to visit our grandparents, Lola and Guadalupe who were awesome grandmothers. The rest of the year, I was counting the days left to return to the magic village in Ourense's countryside where my family came from.
I also used to spend time with my Grand grandmother Isaura, Lola's mother, and now days I feel very lucky to knew her and her delicious fried eggs. Even tough all of that women were strong and not very sensitive, they inspired my personality and made me feel so much proud of my Galician roots.
They are already gone but their memories still remain, specially since I had my baby, Adela, who, by the way, share the name with one of my Grandmothers in law.
since I'm a mother, I think in how much a little person could change me and my family. I admire my mother and grandmothers more than ever. I have to admit, I am fascinated with my mom's new role as "granny" Tere, I'm discovering a new person in her.
To resume, I personally believe that the new generations are an optimized versions of us. If our grandmothers could see us now, they probably would feel very pleased!
Isn't it amazing how as soon as we become mothers all our perspective changes? I wish we knew that when we were younger, although things might happen when they have to. If you knew too much when you were young, you probably wouldn't enjoy yourself as much. With knowledge comes responsibility, and responsibility is boring!!! I guess I've been feeling old lately. I miss my youth days and the energy that I used to have.
Delete
ReplyDeleteWhen a little girl is eight years old in 1939 and lives in a small village near Madrid,
she will never be a little girl again. Ever since then she will have to learn to be a brave
woman, going through daunting and challenging experiences.This is her, Valentina, my
mother- in-love.
First of all she had to deal with a difficult father ( her mother died giving birth to her)
and later with a hard-working but also difficult husband.
Tina (as we call her) never received a proper education despite the fact she belonged
to a rich family of farmers. Being still too young to work, she had to cook every day for
forty farmhands who used to come from Galicia to Castilla to work the fields. She always
spoke fondly about their loyalty and the way they preserved her from several
adversities.
I am very fond of listening to her stories about life during and after our past civil war.
How she had to run to the mountains to escape from the 'maquis'. Or about the way
they had to hide the olive oil underground. I also know that she and her family fed
many neighbours and families during those atrocious times.
Nowadays she is not a young woman anymore (she is 83) and on the top of that she is
suffering from several illneses. But her head is still lively and sharp.
I do not have a daughter my self but I do have five nieces and I frequently wonder what
they would do in those hideous circumstances.
Thank you yaya for loving me as daughter.
Thank you yaya for giving me your son.
Thank you yaya for teaching me how to live life to the fullest.
How lucky we are to have met our older family members. If only we knew how much we could learn from them when we were younger, we would have paid a lot more attention to them while they were with us. As I told Susana, it is too bad that you realize those things as you get old. I don't think I ever told my grandmothers that I loved them when I should have, and here I am, writing about them now that they are gone.
ReplyDelete